The Heartbreak Toolkit: Choose The Right Approach To Let Go Of Your Ex

I'm Dr. Silvia Buet González, a psychologist and Cognitive Behavioral Psychotherapist. Moving on after a breakup or divorce looks different for everyone. Whether you want to stop thinking about your ex, can't understand why the relationship ended, or are hoping to reconcile, a generic approach won't work. That's why I created eight specialized tools, each designed for a unique struggle. Choose the one you need most right now.

Pick my free tool
Dr. Silvia Buet González
PhD research on breakup distress (2018) · BABCP-accredited
Clinical practice in the UK for over 30 years.

Meet Dr. Silvia Buet González

Why do some people get over a breakup in just a few months, while others feel stuck for years?

That was the main question of my PhD research.

I've worked as a psychologist and cognitive behavioral psychotherapist in the UK for over three decades. I've seen people move on quickly after a breakup or divorce. And I've seen others still hoping their ex will come back. Going over every conversation in their heads. Feeling like they're going crazy because they can't stop thinking about them. Or searching for a reason why it all ended, and never finding one.

For my PhD study at Queen's University Belfast, 255 people who had split up in the last 12 months gave me the answer. Why were some already letting go, while others couldn't? Not because of who ended it. Not because of how much time had passed. The key was the meaning they gave to their heartbreak and how they responded to the separation.

The good news is that your recovery depends on your beliefs and actions, not on outside circumstances or your ex's decisions.

See what I found

Choose where it hurts

The Breakup Toolkit

Not sure? Take the quiz

Eight free tools. Each one built for a different kind of stuck. You don't need all of them. You need the one that fits right now.

Quiz cover

Why Can't You Get Over Your Breakup?

Ten questions. One honest answer. Find out what's really keeping you stuck.

Take the quiz

The No-Contact Checklist

Checking their profile again? Seven steps to stop the pull. One day at a time.

Quiet the Replay

The same conversation. Again. And again. How to stop going over it in your head.

Why Did It Really End?

No closure. No explanation. How to make peace with a question they never answered.

The Heartbreak Thought Record

I'll never find anyone like them. Is that true? The CBT worksheet I use in therapy.

Will They Come Back?

Hoping to reconcile? What the research says. And what to do while you wait.

30 Days of Letting Go

One prompt a day. Five minutes. Small steps back to yourself.

Who Am I Now?

You were half of "us" for years. Rebuild the half that's yours.

Not sure where to start?

Start with the quiz

Why can't you get over your breakup? It's not weakness. It's not too much time or not enough time. It's a pattern. Let's find yours.

Ten honest questions
About 3 minutes
Your stuck pattern, explained
Instantly
The one tool made for it
Free, by email
Take the quiz

In their words

What readers say

Real people. Real breakups. What changed when they stopped waiting and started working on it.

★★★★★
"[Paste a real reader's words here. Two or three sentences about how one of the tools helped them.]"

[First name]

[Tool they used, e.g. The No-Contact Checklist]

Straight from the therapy room

From the blog

Short reads on heartbreak, rumination and letting go. Grounded in CBT. Written for real life.

Rumination

Why you can't stop thinking about your ex (and what actually helps)

You've replayed it a hundred times. Has it helped? No. Here's why your brain keeps pressing play.

Read Closure

You don't need their answer to move on

If I just knew why. Would it really change anything? What my research found about closure.

Read Divorce

Time doesn't heal a breakup. This does.

Six months. Two years. Still stuck? Time was never the medicine. Meaning is.

Read

The Heartbreak Toolkit

You didn't choose this breakup. You can choose what you do next.
Start with one tool. The one that fits where it hurts.

Pick my free tool